I Keep Trying to Save Time. I'm Not Sure What For.

On being lazy, building tools, and sometimes forgetting why I started.

I think I'm a lazy person.

Not the kind of lazy where I don't want to do anything. Actually, I spend quite a lot of time working on things.

It's more like whenever I have something to do, my brain immediately starts looking for an easier way.

If something is repetitive, I want to automate it. If a process feels unnecessarily complicated, I want to simplify it. And if I struggle with something, there's a good chance I'll start thinking about building a tool to help me.

Sounds productive, right?

Well, not always.

Sometimes I spend more time trying to make things easier than it would have taken to just do them.

And the funny thing is, I actually enjoy it.

When solving a problem becomes another problem

A while ago, I tried getting into algorithm practice.

As a software engineer, algorithms are something I wanted to get better at. But I found myself struggling to stay focused while working through problems.

It wasn't just about finding the correct solution. I had trouble keeping track of my own thinking, following the different steps, and organizing everything in my head.

So naturally, I had an idea.

What if I could build a tool to visualize my thinking process? Something that would help me lay out the logic, connect the steps, and make it easier to follow what's going on in my head.

And that's exactly what I did.

I built the tool.

The strange part?

I barely used it afterward.

It's kind of funny when I think about it. I started with a goal of getting better at algorithms, encountered a problem with how I approached them, and ended up building something to solve that problem.

But somewhere along the way, building the tool became the project itself.

I can't say the time was completely wasted. I enjoyed figuring out how to turn an idea into something real.

But did it help me achieve the original goal?

I'm not so sure.

[Image: Screenshot of my algorithm/thinking-flow tool]

The endless search for a better workflow

This isn't the only time something like this has happened.

I've had a similar relationship with note-taking.

For some reason, I find it difficult to maintain a consistent note-taking habit. I might start with a system that feels great, use it for a while, and then slowly stop following it.

And instead of just accepting that, I start looking for ways to improve the system.

Maybe the structure isn't right.

Maybe I need better templates.

Maybe the workflow has too many steps.

So I spend time rearranging things, organizing information, and figuring out what the ideal note-taking experience should look like.

For a moment, everything feels organized. Like I've finally figured it out.

Then life happens.

I get busy with another project. Something else catches my attention. And eventually, the carefully designed workflow ends up being something I don't really use anymore.

It's a strange cycle.

I build a system to help me stay organized, but maintaining that system becomes another thing I need to think about.

And sometimes, I wonder if I was trying to solve the wrong problem in the first place.

Maybe my problem wasn't the note-taking workflow.

Maybe I just find it hard to stick with one thing for a long time.

I still don't have a good answer to that.

I think I enjoy making things more than using them

Looking back, I can see this pattern in a lot of things I do.

Whenever I encounter an inconvenience, I tend to imagine a better version of the experience.

Sometimes that becomes a software tool. Sometimes it's a physical object or a small experiment. Other times, it's just an idea sitting somewhere in my head because I don't have enough time to build it.

Not every idea becomes something useful.

Some run into technical obstacles. Some lose momentum. And some simply stop being interesting after a while.

I used to think the main reason I did all this was to save time or make life easier.

But now I'm wondering if that's only part of the reason.

Because even when the tool doesn't end up being particularly useful, I still enjoy the process of making it.

Thinking about how something could work.

Trying different approaches.

Running into problems I didn't expect.

And eventually seeing an idea turn into something real.

Maybe that's why I keep doing it, even when it makes my life more complicated instead of simpler.

[Image: A few of my software and 3D-printing projects, finished or unfinished]

But what am I actually saving time for?

This is the part I've been thinking about lately.

Like a lot of people, I'm working toward financial freedom.

The idea is pretty simple: work hard enough now so that one day I'll have more control over my time.

More freedom to do what I want, explore things I'm curious about, and build things without constantly thinking about whether they need to make money.

At least, that's the plan.

But somewhere along the way, I feel like I've become so used to working toward that goal that I sometimes forget what I'm actually trying to achieve.

Even when I don't have anything urgent to do, my mind keeps looking for work.

Something to improve.

Something to build.

Something that might become useful or valuable later.

And when I do have some free time, I don't always know what to do with it.

Which is a little ironic, considering how much time I spend trying to save time.

I guess I've gotten pretty good at keeping myself busy.

I'm just not sure that's the same thing as being productive.

Maybe I don't need everything to be useful

If I imagine a future where I no longer have to worry so much about money, I don't think I'd stop making things.

Quite the opposite.

I'd probably spend even more time exploring random ideas, learning new skills, experimenting with different tools, and building things just because they seem interesting.

Some of those things might be useful.

Some probably wouldn't.

And maybe that's fine.

I don't think my obsession with optimization is going away anytime soon. I still get excited when I find a clever way to solve a problem, and I'll probably continue spending unreasonable amounts of time trying to improve things that were already working.

Sometimes it'll help.

Sometimes it'll lead nowhere.

But I'm starting to think that maybe I don't always need a practical reason to make something.

Maybe enjoying the process is already a good enough reason.

I still want to become more focused and intentional with my time. I still want to build useful things and make progress toward financial freedom.

I just don't want to forget to enjoy the things I'm working so hard to make time for.

And perhaps that's also why I'm starting this blog.

Not because I've figured things out, but because I want a place to document the things I try, the ideas I explore, and the lessons I pick up along the way.

Even the ones that don't really lead anywhere.

Who knows? Maybe writing about them will help me understand myself a little better.

Or maybe I'll eventually try to build a tool to optimize blogging, too.